4.4 THE FULLNESS OF LIFE

In the othodox Christian doctrine of the creation of souls hides a kernel of truth. If infinite consciousness is to realize its fullness in the experience of finite human life, then each individual human being and life represents a unique and heretofore non existent event in the process of that realization.

Hence, the teaching of a singular creation for all human souls, refers in a simplistic way to the unique and unrepeatable nature of every human life. The orthodox "God" symbolizes consciousness in its ground state, or condition of naivete. Consciousness, in a sense, "creates" the individual human lives that form the events of the process of its self realization.

This creation must be understood in the context of a psychological unfolding. The simplistic orthodox notion of creation of something from nothing (ex nihilo) misses the point, because there is no god to create. A helpful analogy is the dream state. Each character, setting and sequence of events within the dream symbolizes some psychological aspect or aspects of the dreamer.

The characters and events of the dream could be considered "creations" of the dreamer. But they can be so considered only in the very technical sense that they represent momentary manifestations of whatever contents within the dreamer's consciousness have previously been denied waking state recognition. They are in no way creations in the sense that they have any existence beyond the context of the dream itself.

In a similar manner to the events and characters of a dream, each human personality and life symbolizes some psychological aspect of the process of consciousness coming to the full realization of itself. Each human life represents a creation only in the sense that it manifests a unique event or sequence of events in the psychological unfolding of true self consciousness.

According to the doctrine of the metaphysic of ecstasy, it is simply consciousness itself that is in the midst of the process of awakening to the realization of its own fullness. Consciousness is all there is.

We individual human beings are the tangible events of that process of realization. Our individual states of conscious awareness and degrees of awareness of self, as human beings, are really the psychic indicators of the progress of consciousness itself as it advances through the process of realization. The end result of the entire process is simply the realization of human being in its fullness.

The kingdom refers to the state of self awareness of the fullness of our human being. In the metaphysic of ecstasy this awareness of personal wholeness is, of course, referred to as ecstasy. Throughout the mutilated scriptures of the New Testament this seminal doctrine of the metaphysic of ecstasy shows itself. We can see it clearly when we look for it. We can see it clearly if we look with an open mind and not with the attitude that everything has been understood totally by orthodoxy.

"Be ye therefore complete, as your Father in heaven is complete."58 The kingdom refers to the self conscious awareness of the entire panorama of human being. This is one hundred per cent awareness.

Our ordinary state of awareness is fragmented. It is like a kingdom that is divided against itself.59 We are aware of only a portion of our human being. Maybe it is only one or two per cent. Maybe it is ten per cent.

The "kingdom of God" refers to an awareness that is not fragmented. It represents the self awareness of the fullness of human being. This is the fullness of life. The kingdom refers to self realization.

This is subtle. The kingdom does not refer to something that must be attained. When you think in terms of attaining you express the attitude of lacking. You lack something so you want to attain it. As long as you express the attitude of lacking, you will lack. No matter to what lengths you go in your attempts to attain, your attitude will get in your way. It is the attitude itself that is at fault.

If you think in terms of lacking self realization and go out and try to attain it, your efforts are doomed from the start. If you think "I do not have self realization now but I want to have it" your very attitude stands in the way.

You can not, by any effort, attain self realization. Your very efforts to attain it will prevent you. Your very attitude of trying to attain will prevent you. This is because you already "have" self realization. Your being human already is a state of self realization. Your personality is now the expression of a state of conscious awareness and a degree of self realization.

Simply, the point is that you as a human personality can not attain self realization because you already are a living expression of it. All striving gets in the way of realizing what you already are. Striving gets in the way of realizing that you already are an expression of self realization.

The point is simply not to strive, not to try to attain, but rather to surrender. Stop striving and stop trying to attain.

Just let what is expressing you, express you. Do not get in the way. Do not make up your own agenda.

You get in the way of the process by thinking that you know better. You get in the way by thinking that you can do it better than the way it is happening on its own.

You get in the way of the process by thinking that you need to do this or that action to expedite it. You get in the way of the process by thinking that you need to practice some esoteric technique to speed it up. You are mistaken. You just need to become aware of the process.

Self - yourself - is present this very instant and always, moulding and shaping your personality on the forge and anvil of experience in life here and now.60 Self is this very instant hammering you - your malleable and pliant personality - into the perfect instrument to do its work.61

When each of us personalities is moulded into its perfect instrument, the self will realize its fullness within each of us. "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I but Christ lives in me. And the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me."62

Here then in plain and unambiguous language we discover the sole reason for our personal existence. The term "Christ" represents that fullness of human being that we are discussing here. It is to be brought into living expression in each of us. We must only surrender ourselves over to that end so that the ultimate work in us and through us may be accomplished.

That great work that can only be accomplished in us and through us is self realization. To enter the inner kingdom means self realization.

The kingdom is the recognition of our own true nature as being human. It is the recognition of the fullness of what we are, have ever been and will always be.

"In that day you will know that I am in my Father, that you are in me and I in you."63

The fullness of self realization occurs when we have made ourselves ready to receive it, when we have surrendered all striving to attain it. "You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you and appointed you to go and bear fruit."64 This is what awakening is all about.

Instruction book methods are not sufficient. We can not force our way into the kingdom with mental tricks or physio-psychic gymnastics. We can not bargain, beg or steal our way into it. We can not trick our way into it.

Only when we have opened ourselves to it, only when we have surrendered ourselves completely to it, shall we realize that self which is us. Only then shall we realize finally that we are that self, "as Thou, Father, art in me, and I in Thee, that they also may be one in us...that they may be one as we are one; I in them, and Thou in me, that they may be complete in one."65

You need no gurus or masters to deliver you or show you the way. No hierarchy of priests or middlemen can intercede. In the work of realization of who and what you really are, the self, your own true and perfected human being, is the only master. The personality is the disciple of self.

"But the anointing [chrisma] ye have received of him abides in you, and ye need not that any man teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you of all things, and is truth and no lie, and even as it has taught you, ye shall abide in him."66

The word chrisma, the anointing, derives from the word chrio, to smear or to anoint, as with oil. Likewise Christos derives from chrio, and is the one who is anointed. Orthodoxy, of course, interprets this anointing figuratively. As a king is anointed over his realm, so too Christ has been anointed Messiah over mankind.

But on a metaphysical level the word Christ symbolizes the fullness of being human. That is, Christ is a metaphor of self realization. It is the realization of self that teaches all things. Other men, other teachers can only point the way to you. You must discover the one true master within for yourself. No one else can do it for you. No one else can lead you by the hand and deliver you to it.

The "anointing" has an additional meaning which relates directly to the method for realization. This method the author of the Apocalypse, as Pryse has interpreted it, took great pains to disguise.

Recall that in the metaphysic of ecstasy sexual intercourse is sacred. It is the first and the last and only sacrament. And since sacrament simply means "that which renders holy (whole)," the literal meaning of the anointing becomes obvious. It is the mutual baptism and absorption of the female and male sexual fluids during coitus. The physical act is itself the efficacious means to realization. This is the first great secret.

The second secret of sexual intimacy is learning to become vulnerable, to open up. You must learn to open up. If you do not become vulnerable and open up, sexual intimacy remains a closed door. You will not experience anything but physical and emotional sensations.

You must also learn to listen and to hear the inner voice that speaks within you. Through love and intimacy we allow that inner voice of self to shape us quickly into its perfected instruments. When this work of awakening in us is accomplished, self realization of the fullness of human being can occur and the work of self through us will begin.

The work through us is self discovering self in ecstatic embrace. Beneath the orthodox facade, and also beneath the intermediate level of understanding as described by the esoteric schools, teachers and gurus and masters have no place. They are superficial things.

Beneath the surface, we are each brothers and sisters in this work of self realization. We help one another as we are able through love, intimacy and openness to hear, to recognize and to obey the subtle prompting of that inner voice. For the fullness of our shared human being speaks to us all, now and ever. It speaks always, teaching us all we need to know and all we seek.

Here is the great and marvellous mystery of human being. That which we seek we already have. What we desire is already ours. The words we long to hear are spoken this very instant!

Listen! "If we love one another, God dwells in us and His love is perfected in us...and he that dwells in love dwells in God, and God in him."67 But this love is not merely a devotional fervour or a sentimental piety directed at our anthropomorphic concepts of Christ and the divine. This love is not the simple minded worship of anyone else "out there" some place. Nor is it the abject adoration of supreme powers and beings to whose mercies and good will we owe our continuing existence.

We share this love as brothers and sisters. By this I do not mean that chastity and virginity characterize our love for each other. Remember that in the metaphysic of ecstasy the sexual intimacy of man and woman is the means to realization. Orthodoxy misunderstands this statement of fraternal love. For orthodoxy thinks "brothers and sisters" refers to a sexless relationship. What is meant rather is that we are individual male and female living expressions of the fullness of human consciousness. We are the "sons" (and the daughters) of "God68 In other words, each of us is the individual, living expression of the creative polarity of consciousness.

We are also brothers and sisters in the sense of peers rather than gurus and disciples or masters and students. We all interact on an equal footing. No one is really any more human than anyone else. We are all in this together. Some of us may be the living expressions of varying degrees of self awareness, but we are all equally expressions of consciousness. For this reason an adult can be no man's disciple.

In complete and total surrender to each other we discover the presence of our human being in one another and in ourselves. The perfected self of each of us reveals itself to us only through one another. We all need each other for self realization. There is no solitary nor virginal path to realization.

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loves is born of God and knows God."69 This love is a state of being human, wherein our strictly personal interests and ego striving have been set aside. We have surrendered them in total abandonment to the process of the realization of self. "This is my commandment: that you love one another as I have loved you."70

Perhaps you have sometimes felt deep within yourself a strange yearning, an aching emptiness that nothing seems able to satisfy. This may be a real hunger for the inner sense of fullness without which life may seem hollow and pointless. Without which life is superficial and trivial.

This may be a real longing for the experience of being human fully, for which there burns within us a holy desire. Within our hearts, consciousness itself yearns to awaken and is awakening. Planted within our hearts is the finite seed of infinite growth, the potential to be fully human and "partakers in divine nature."71

You may be sensing the call to the practice of what we may term interior prayer. Interior prayer is simply the sense and attitude of inner fullness without which life feels empty and meaningless. It is herein that the seed of human being is germinated and nourished, to bear fruit in a life of love, intimacy and self realization.

This is the kingdom. The awareness of the eternal fullness of your own human being is the kingdom. It is a way of living in love, "that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God."72

When I say that interior prayer is a sense of inner fullness I am not talking about opinions and concepts or other mental baggage. You can be full of mental baggage and still feel empty. In fact, probably the more mental baggage you accumulate in the course of your life the more likely you are to sense the emptiness that underlies it all. So this is not the fullness I am talking about.

The fullness I am talking about is love. You are full of love. Your very inner essence and being is love.

Interior prayer is not reciting prayers. Interior prayer is a way of living. It is an attitude. It is an orientation of awareness. It is not the recitation of verbal or mental formulas.

Interior prayer is the process of shedding the superficial, the selfish and the fearful. It is the process of overcoming the pretentious. It is an opening up to the inner depths of our own human being. It is knowing who and what we are. "Ye are the light of the world."73 Interior prayer is opening up to self realization.

Interior prayer is not only for the few, those whom we might call spiritual athletes. It is for all who feel the inward yearning for being human fully. In the ordinary life of family, friends, job or career most of us are called to self realization. We are all called to let self express in us, to do its will in us, to be itself in us. That is the promise and challenge of self realization. To be that which you are now and always one hundred per cent!

The word is living now and spoken by that which is ready and waiting to teach and to learn all things, that self within our very own hearts. We must only listen to hear. We must only obey to follow and to learn and to become the disciples of our own human being, and to abide in that inner presence and to bear the fruit of life.

It is through interior prayer and love that we align ourselves with the workings of the self within. That inner voice speaks always, but we do not hear. Our thoughts and opinions, our imaginings and desires dominate our attention. These drown out the subtle voice within our hearts.

Through interior prayer and love we open up. We learn to hear that inner voice. "Give us this day our daily bread"74 means that we hear and listen to that inner voice of self calling us to the fullness of our human being. It means that we ask each day to wake up a little more to the realization of who and what we really are. To go beyond what we merely think we are.

Love is the big secret. "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind...you must love your neighbour as yourself."75 Loving God is seeking the kingdom with all the strength and determination we have. With all our heart, soul and mind. By seeking the kingdom we each become perfected instruments for the great work of which we are a part. Remember that seeking does not mean striving to attain. It means to surrender. Loving is not striving. Loving is surrendering.

Loving God is not any religious devotion. It is not sentimental piety or verbal and mental prayers directed at intellectual images or concepts of God, however fine or exalted they may be.76 Nor is it proselytizing what we may think or imagine to be God's will for mankind while despising others. We are not discussing religion here. Religion is nothing but nonsense, the infantile and self destructive product of the "grovel" mentality.

Loving God is seeking the kingdom. It is cooperating in the process of self realization. It is becoming a quality human being. It is maturity.

Loving ourselves and our brothers and sisters is not a separate and lesser command. It is the key.

We can only love God, whom we can not see, by being in love with our brothers and our sisters whom we do see. "For he that loves not his brother whom he can see, how can he love God whom he can not see?"77 For love is discovered only in the act of loving. To experience love brings us to the kingdom. The kingdom is love.

Self realization presupposes that we first love ourselves, because we cannot really love another human being if we have not first learned to love ourselves. True self love is real humility. True self love is unconditional acceptance of our being human within our own selves, as well as accepting the total human being of all others. It is accepting our shared identity in self.

In love we live and move and have our being.78 To know yourself in this way, to know one another in this way, is to perceive a new dimension of reality. Merely to entertain thoughts about "God," is easy. But to do so simply means you are asleep. To awaken you must experience the presence of the infinite within yourself and within all your brothers and sisters. This is real love. This is the way to the kingdom.

Your life reflects your growth in self realization. As you mature in self realization you move towards a simplicity in your personal demands and expectations. You realise that it is from within that true fulfilment comes. You exhibit an increasing joy and acceptance in yourself, in others and in living, whatever the vagaries and vicissitudes of life may bring.

You stop trying to manipulate life around you. You stop trying to make life be what you think it ought to be. There flowers a fearless generosity to give of yourself and of your talents as they may be needed. You come to accept yourself as you are and all others as they are, to make yourself available as others need you and not merely as you find time. You discover that through love true personal growth occurs.

You experience a conversion of attitude from the old selfish ways to a new selfless way. In surrendering self you find self.79

The state of being that we call interior prayer begins to illuminate constantly the mundane of routine living with total and unconditional love. You begin to understand that the absolute is that which vivifies and indwells within the relative. You begin to experience that life and existence are both absolute and relative simultaneously.

This is the presence of God. This is the presence of self. You begin to experience love as the center and the true nature of all human beings and of all creation. When you arrive at this state of being you have realized that we can only come to knowing the infinite, the incomprehensible and ineffable through ourselves and through each other.

"We know that the Son of God is come and has given us an understanding that we might know Him that is true; and we are in Him that is true, in His son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and life eternal."80

This is an invitation to all to experience the fullness of life, to experience the consciousness of being fully human. There is nothing mysterious or paranormal. Nothing supernatural. You just have to wake up. This is the call to self realization!

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